By sixteen I thought Ah this is all crap youre all sheep Im not going to church leave me alone. And then at a certain point in my teens I started to go to Catholic churches by myself. Not because I wanted to be Catholic but because I wanted to light a candle and say something like a prayer and just sit there. There was something I was missing or trying to reconnect with. But it was a secret at the time. Id developed this cynical persona and the last thing I wanted to admit was that I was skulking around churches in my spare time.